AFL Results R22 - Hirdys Heroes Kill Carlton

The Bombers may be out of the 2013 finals, but Zaharakis has done his best to finish off Mick Malthouse once and for all. Late in the last quarter, scores level, Mick could be seen trying in vain to squeeze a reluctant brick out of his butt cheeks. Along comes Zaharakis to ram home the winning goal with under a minute to play, just like he did against Mick on Anzac Day a few years back.

What Hirdy really said.

The Bombers' win makes you wonder whether James Hird would have been so open at the presser had they lost. If they'd gotten done, I doubt it very much, so it was a good result so we could all hear what he had to say.

While the marathon presser appeared to end at the 18 minute mark, I was lucky enough to sneak in and hang around with the likes of Robbo, BT, Caro, Dennis and Mike.  This is what Hird said after the cameras stopped rolling (see pic).

On to the highlights tape and just take a look at Motlop's mark. Almost reminds me of Jezza's over Jerker Jenkins in the 1970 GF.  Roll the tape Makarioa, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R21 - Freo Firm Favourites To Top Table

Get on your nearest AFL Ladder Predictor - the Fremantle Dockers can finish top. Yes that's right, and you heard it first here on Uglybustards.  All it takes is Hawks to lose to Norf and Swans, Swans to scrape home against the Cats and Hawks, Cats to lose to Swans then beat Brisbane, and for Freo to thrash Port and St Kilda.  This puts Freo on top, same points as Swans but with a healthier percentage. The top 4 finishes up Freo, Swans, Cats, Hawks with a couple of very interesting Qualifying Finals in week one of the finals series.

Ladder Prediction R21

The bottom half of the 8 is also looking very interesting. Richmond should beat Essendon and the Giants comfortably, keeping its percentage above Collingwood who face the Ducks and Norf.  The Dons will probably stumble into 7th with six losses on the trot, with Carlton and Port to play off in what could well be an Elimination Final at Aami Stadium before the real thing happens.  The winner will most likely play the Tigers, which I'm sure they'd prefer over Collingwood.  The Pies should pumble Essendon in the other Elimination Final as the Dons scandal-plagued season splutters to an end.

What's your prediction?

On to the highlights tape and Cyril celebrates the start of the EPL with some exquisite soccer skills, he played the oval ball as it were round, beat two defenders and got past the goalie to slot a major. Casboult's wasn't too bad either except he was offside.  Roll the tape Zenon, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R20 - Cooney Crushes Carlton

Lots of 50/50 games this week which were hard to pick. Poor old Norf cant take a trick losing another close one to the Crows, the Magpies surprised everyone with a convincing win over the Swans, the Bombers look like the year is starting to take its toll as they got smashed by the Ducks, and the Bulldogs crushed an unconvincing Carlton.

Judd caught out

Malted Outhouse can smugly say he is happy with the process, the ladder is irrelevant and that Carlton continue to improve under his tutelage.  But as the gulf between the contenders and the Blues widens, our sources here at Uglybustards have uncovered a potential cause for the Blues downward spiral, and that is their nutritional program!  Full of Mars Bars!

In fact it's not much different from the Blues of the 70s as far as one-dimensional diets go, but instead of Mars Bars envisage cans of VB. How soft has this once great team become?

Not many outstanding highlights this week except to say Adam Cooney is back with a vengeance. If he didn't get the 3 Brownlow votes I'll go he. Freo look set for a top 2 spot as the Swans, Cats and Hawks are yet to play each other, while the Dockers face the behemoths of Melbourne and St Kilda, with Port Adelaide at Patersons. Roll the tape Olympiodorus and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R19 - Footy Gods Decide Final 8

There I was sitting comfy in the knowledge Adelaide were up by 20 points with just five minutes on the clock, a win that would keep the Blues in the hunt for the final 8.  Nek minut its only eight points, but with 90 seconds to go with the ball in their forward line the Crows looked safe. Then came the moment.

The clouds parted and lightning shot from the sky over Aami Park in the shape of a Port Power thunderbolt that struck the ground right on the point of the ball where Monfries' kick landed, a centimetre from crossing the behind line, and, guided by the hand of Thor The Thundergod, the ball did a more jagged right angled zig zag than Milney's stray bounce that cost the Saints the 2010 GF, but this time somehow it found its way through the big sticks, covering at least 5 metres to do so.

The new Dominator

Cue Chad Wingard, the new millenium's version of The Dominator, for the coup de grace and the Crows had done a Norf, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Except Brad Scott would have asked for the roof to be closed.

Nothing can stop Port Power making the finals now.  The Footy Gods have ordained it. I think that covers every cliche.

While there's a 2 game gap between 8th and 9th, the battle for the flag has really opened up among the teams in the 8. Richmond walloped Hawthorn for the second time in succession, the Cats lost yet again to a team outside the 8, the Bulldogs pushed the Swans all the way, Collingwood hit their straps, and Fremantle took Carlton apart at the seams. With Freo's run home they're a great chance for top 2 and a home final, possibly two, and a relatively easy path to the MCG on the last satdee in September. But don't worry, being Freo they are sure to stuff it up.

Great to see the Giants get their first win for the season, even if it was against the basketcase of the comp in the Dees.  Roll the tape Agapitos and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.