2013 Ugly Bustards Premiership

Ladies and gentlemen and fellow ugly bustards.

It gives me great pleasure to present this year's winner of the fourteenth Ugly Bustards Footy Tipping Premiership in 2013 with the Ugly Bustards Premiership Cup, the holy grail of footy tipping.

Well done Mr. Sam Griggs.

Sam Griggs wins 2013 Ugly Bustards Footy Tipping Premiership

Sam is the 11th winner of the prized cup in fourteen years of Ugly Bustards Footy Tipping. The only punters to have won the treasured prize twice are inaugural winner Arnold Layne and denlash. Previous cup winners' engravings can be viewed on Facebook.

Sam had an exceptional season winning by a record margin of six tips, and finished higher than any other Ugly Bustards tipster in history on the overall footytips.com.au site, with a 27th placing out of nearly half a million tipsters. This eclipsed teenyweenybustard's placing of 121st in 2001.

Runners-up this year were Powerful, Craig Nettlebeck and Amy Jones, view the Hall of Fame for the archive of Ugly Bustards Footy Tipping winners.

See you at pre-season training, and don't forget you can't get by a hot summer without an Ugly Bustards stubby holder to keep your drink nice and cool.

Thanks all for your participation this year, and Go Youse Ugly Bustaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards!!!

Winners "Show Us Your Form" Photo Comp

The Uglybustards "Show us Your Footy Finals Form" photo competition finished on 4th October 2013 when the final votes were tallied by the panel of judges.

The winners were Deb Smith and Trent Mayne. Well done guys and thanks for entering.

Swans fans led by The Boot, in form

Deb's snap was taken at the Sydney Swans Vs Carlton semi-final at ANZ Stadium just prior to the first bounce. It captures Uglybustards tipster The Boot, among other Swans members faithful including MJ.

John James representing Victoria

Trent's photo is 1961 Brownlow medalist and Carlton great John James playing for Victoria against South Australia. Although Trent didn't take the pic himself he owns the copyright.

Each have won an Uglybustards T-shirt and a limited edition Uglybustards stubby-holder, now retailing at $10 including delivery.

AFL Finals Week 4 - Hawks Happy

Despite desperate denials by deluded Dockers fans, the astute footy judgement of Uglybustards was proven correct on the last Satdee in September.

Lack of scoring finesse hurt Freo, with small forward Ballas a culprit much like Milney in the Saints losses. In defence Zac Dawson's pitiful stats (0 kicks, 7 handballs) just didn't stack up against his counterpart at the other end in Brian Lake (16k, 6hb). It was justice that Lake received the Norm Smith, as the other contender in Gunston had the unfair advantage of having Dawson on him. But it was a pity that we didn't get a Norman for Gunston.

Zac Dawson unlucky to miss out on Norm Smith medal for Hawthorn

In Lyon's four GFs his teams have now kicked 9.14, 10.8, 7.10 and 8.14.

Meanwhile Hawthorn, while 5th best defensive team, were far and away the most potent, scoring a telling 25% more than Freo over the season.

For Lyon's part he says he won't crumble.  I would, however, humbly suggest he seeks out a good head-shrink before pre-season, and reads the Malcolm Blight coaching instruction manual on how to kick a goal.

The experienced Hawks have proved themselves a very hard team to beat with their excellent draft recruiting topped up at the trade table with Lake, Gunston, Guerra, Burgoyne and Hale. Can't see those players wanting to go to Melbourne.  The AFL "social" system remains compromised on this point, with the strong clubs attracting trades and free / restricted agents while the lesser clubs are pretty much doomed.

COB Monday 30/9 is your last chance to win great prizes in the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp. You can Enter on Facebook, tweet your snap with #showyourform, or email me.

Let's roll the final tape of the year Nikodemos, then read on for the final Uglybustards tipping results for 2013. Well done Hawthorn (you bustards).

AFL Finals Week 3 - Purple and Brown

The favourites came to the fore for the 2nd week in a row in the Prelims after this year's final series began with a few upsets. The good news is we have the best two teams at the pointy end of the season, which means the Grand Final should be a ripsnorter.

Hawthorn's prelim final scoreline was eerily similar to last year's 5 point win over Adelaide where it also almost kicked itself out of contention. However the win over the Cats was much more meritorious and should stand them in good stead for Satdee. And wouldn't Varcoe be spewing.

Freo on the other hand have developed a new style of play seen by no other team this year. Fanatical frenzied pressure at the ball carrier. They did it to perfection against the Swans in the first half but can they keep it up for 120 minutes against an outfit like Hawthorn?

Freo's lack of experience will tell

That for me is the big worry.  As well as their decision to wear the white clash strip instead of the purple, after the AFL forced them to wear white shorts. A white haze descending on the MCG just doesn't feel right.  Then there is the Hawks' finals experience. Whereas Freo has been a basketcase for so long and make their GF debut Satdee.
Finally how can a team with Zac Dawson win a flag.  For mine it is the Hawks by 25.

Don't forget this is your last week to win great prizes in the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp which closes Monday 30th September after the GF. There is a huge opportunity to win that Uglybustards T-shirt and stubbyholder that you have always craved. All you have to do is send in a finals happy snap. Any pic at all and you could win! You can Enter here on Facebook, tweet your snap with #showyourform, or email me.

Time to roll the prelim finals tapes Acropolis, then read on for the latest Uglybustards tipping results. And well done Gaz Yaaaaaablett takin Charley home for the 2nd time.

AFL Results Finals Week 2 - Top Four Through

As expected the top four are through to the Preliminary Finals this weekend. Port Adelaide went closest to an upset and might have done so if not for the 3rd quarter when the Cats smashed them. The Swans were the big performers of the semi's, in a team missing key stars LRT, Goodsey and Sam Reid, then losing Tippett and Mitchell in the first quarter, they took Carlton apart, embarrassing their high draft picks with some typical "Bloods" footy. McVeigh's 20 possessions in the 2nd quarter a finals record, his total of 42 for the match only second to Dane Swan's 43 in a finals match. And he did it on one knee.

This week again sees the top two teams favoured to win.  The Hawks are set to finally beat the Kennett Curse after 11 losses. However last time they met in round 15 this year, the Cats had their measure leading by 33 points before getting across the line by 10.

Barich pledges to paint house with toofpick

The Swans are facing mission impossible at Subi this week against a rested Dockers side. The only thing going for them is 80s Eagle Adrian Barich's call that he'll paint a mates house with a toothbrush if Freo get done.  After the Swan's injuries he amended this statement to using a toothpick instead.  Go Swannies.

Remember that great prizes are up for grabs in the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp which closes Monday 30th September after the GF. Prizes outweigh entries at this stage so plenty of chances to win that Uglybustards T-shirt and stubbyholder. If you've taken any snaps during the finals series so far, send 'em in! You can Enter here on Facebook, tweet your snap with #showyourform, or email me.

Dim the lights Zorba, and let's roll the tape of the Semi Final highlights, and don't forget to read on for the latest Uglybustards tipping results. BTW Westhoff's last korter potshot aint bad.

2013 AFL Finals Week 1 - Upsets Abound

A sensational start to the 2013 AFL Finals Series saw Collingwood booted out, Geelong beaten at the Cattery for only the 2nd time in over 40 games, and a 9th placed team in the Blues create history and progress to the 2nd week.  The only match that went to script was the Hawks belting a depleted Swans.

Sweet hangover after Blues win

Having tipped 2 of those 3 "upsets" I can tell you the writing was on the wall. Freo has the talent to go all the way and the Blues had the wood on Richmond. The one that got me was Port Power pounding the 'Pies. It is quite incredible that Collingwood who were in great form just a few weeks back have now finished 8th, while Carlton, a team they smashed by 41 points recently, is into the semis. Ken Hinkley gets my nod as coach of the year over Rossy Lyon at this stage, getting the Power up from the footy wilderness.

As for the Blues come from behind win on the weekend, I celebrated long and hard and paid for it dearly on Monday morning (see pic). I'll be at ANZ Stadium with Little Bustard this week to see Carlton down the Swans and will no doubt have an even bigger hangover next Monday.

Don't forget the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp is up and running this finals series with great prizes, and entries are literally flooding in.


Read on for a video review of eight telling plays in each of the Finals matches on the weekend, and for the latest Uglybustards tipping results.  Great highlights including a Heath Shaw brain explosion.

Roll the tape Monopoly...

Show Us Your Finals Footy Form - Uglybustards Finals Photo Competition

** This competition finished 4th October 2013 - The winners were Deb Smith and Trent Mayne **

hi there all youse Uglybaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes Finals Footy is here once more and if your team didn't get in, bad luck there is always next year - or the year after next year if you're a Bombers Fan!

We here at Uglybustards are always interested in what our punters get up to over the finals series, so for all you happy snappers out there this year we are running a "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" photo competition.

AFL Results R23 - Blues do a Bradbury

As well documented on Twitter, the Blues did a Bradbury last week thanks to Hirdy & co, then almost threw it away in a thrilling weekend of footy where the permutations experts were going haywire.

Malthouse does a Bradbury

There was Ross Lyon keeping half his team in cotton wool and expecting the Cats to easily put Brisbane away. He was almost made to look silly by forfeiting a home final when the Lions scared the bejeezus out of both the Cats and Blues supporters. The Lions should've taken the points to temporarily nab 8th spot but for Ryan Lester's shot being touched on the line. At this same point in time the Power had jumped the blues booting the 1st 3 goals and looked well and truly home and hosed by midway in the 3rd quarter, leading by 39 points. While the unlucky Lions wouldve been feeling sick and sorry for themselves, this paved the way for the Crows who were taking on a decimated Ducks team at Subi, meaning they only had to win by a few goals to bridge the % gap Carlton had on them. And Norf were waiting in the wings on Sunday, needing a win over Collingwood which they duly delivered in a game where both teams wore teflon the tackle count was so low.  But somehow the Blues came back as Port ran out of puff, and yet still the Blues were incredibly lucky Broadbent's shot hit the post with seconds remaining.

Norf, the Crows, the Lions and Carlton all showed they would've put up a better show than a emotionally shot and dispirited Essendon in the finals. It was just a matter of which one.

Let's take a look at the AFL's top ten moments of the weekend, featuring the boundary umpie from 1979 who assisted Eddie Betts with a goal of the year nomination, and Jeremy Howe's usual array of screamers. One day he's gonna jump clean outa the stadium.

Roll the tape Oligarkis, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R22 - Hirdys Heroes Kill Carlton

The Bombers may be out of the 2013 finals, but Zaharakis has done his best to finish off Mick Malthouse once and for all. Late in the last quarter, scores level, Mick could be seen trying in vain to squeeze a reluctant brick out of his butt cheeks. Along comes Zaharakis to ram home the winning goal with under a minute to play, just like he did against Mick on Anzac Day a few years back.

What Hirdy really said.

The Bombers' win makes you wonder whether James Hird would have been so open at the presser had they lost. If they'd gotten done, I doubt it very much, so it was a good result so we could all hear what he had to say.

While the marathon presser appeared to end at the 18 minute mark, I was lucky enough to sneak in and hang around with the likes of Robbo, BT, Caro, Dennis and Mike.  This is what Hird said after the cameras stopped rolling (see pic).

On to the highlights tape and just take a look at Motlop's mark. Almost reminds me of Jezza's over Jerker Jenkins in the 1970 GF.  Roll the tape Makarioa, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R21 - Freo Firm Favourites To Top Table

Get on your nearest AFL Ladder Predictor - the Fremantle Dockers can finish top. Yes that's right, and you heard it first here on Uglybustards.  All it takes is Hawks to lose to Norf and Swans, Swans to scrape home against the Cats and Hawks, Cats to lose to Swans then beat Brisbane, and for Freo to thrash Port and St Kilda.  This puts Freo on top, same points as Swans but with a healthier percentage. The top 4 finishes up Freo, Swans, Cats, Hawks with a couple of very interesting Qualifying Finals in week one of the finals series.

Ladder Prediction R21

The bottom half of the 8 is also looking very interesting. Richmond should beat Essendon and the Giants comfortably, keeping its percentage above Collingwood who face the Ducks and Norf.  The Dons will probably stumble into 7th with six losses on the trot, with Carlton and Port to play off in what could well be an Elimination Final at Aami Stadium before the real thing happens.  The winner will most likely play the Tigers, which I'm sure they'd prefer over Collingwood.  The Pies should pumble Essendon in the other Elimination Final as the Dons scandal-plagued season splutters to an end.

What's your prediction?

On to the highlights tape and Cyril celebrates the start of the EPL with some exquisite soccer skills, he played the oval ball as it were round, beat two defenders and got past the goalie to slot a major. Casboult's wasn't too bad either except he was offside.  Roll the tape Zenon, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R20 - Cooney Crushes Carlton

Lots of 50/50 games this week which were hard to pick. Poor old Norf cant take a trick losing another close one to the Crows, the Magpies surprised everyone with a convincing win over the Swans, the Bombers look like the year is starting to take its toll as they got smashed by the Ducks, and the Bulldogs crushed an unconvincing Carlton.

Judd caught out

Malted Outhouse can smugly say he is happy with the process, the ladder is irrelevant and that Carlton continue to improve under his tutelage.  But as the gulf between the contenders and the Blues widens, our sources here at Uglybustards have uncovered a potential cause for the Blues downward spiral, and that is their nutritional program!  Full of Mars Bars!

In fact it's not much different from the Blues of the 70s as far as one-dimensional diets go, but instead of Mars Bars envisage cans of VB. How soft has this once great team become?

Not many outstanding highlights this week except to say Adam Cooney is back with a vengeance. If he didn't get the 3 Brownlow votes I'll go he. Freo look set for a top 2 spot as the Swans, Cats and Hawks are yet to play each other, while the Dockers face the behemoths of Melbourne and St Kilda, with Port Adelaide at Patersons. Roll the tape Olympiodorus and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R19 - Footy Gods Decide Final 8

There I was sitting comfy in the knowledge Adelaide were up by 20 points with just five minutes on the clock, a win that would keep the Blues in the hunt for the final 8.  Nek minut its only eight points, but with 90 seconds to go with the ball in their forward line the Crows looked safe. Then came the moment.

The clouds parted and lightning shot from the sky over Aami Park in the shape of a Port Power thunderbolt that struck the ground right on the point of the ball where Monfries' kick landed, a centimetre from crossing the behind line, and, guided by the hand of Thor The Thundergod, the ball did a more jagged right angled zig zag than Milney's stray bounce that cost the Saints the 2010 GF, but this time somehow it found its way through the big sticks, covering at least 5 metres to do so.

The new Dominator

Cue Chad Wingard, the new millenium's version of The Dominator, for the coup de grace and the Crows had done a Norf, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Except Brad Scott would have asked for the roof to be closed.

Nothing can stop Port Power making the finals now.  The Footy Gods have ordained it. I think that covers every cliche.

While there's a 2 game gap between 8th and 9th, the battle for the flag has really opened up among the teams in the 8. Richmond walloped Hawthorn for the second time in succession, the Cats lost yet again to a team outside the 8, the Bulldogs pushed the Swans all the way, Collingwood hit their straps, and Fremantle took Carlton apart at the seams. With Freo's run home they're a great chance for top 2 and a home final, possibly two, and a relatively easy path to the MCG on the last satdee in September. But don't worry, being Freo they are sure to stuff it up.

Great to see the Giants get their first win for the season, even if it was against the basketcase of the comp in the Dees.  Roll the tape Agapitos and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R18 - Swashbuckling Swans Tear Tigers a Newy

Took a trip to the SCG this week for a bit of twilight footy between the Swans and the Tigers on a glorious Sunday eve in the Harbour city. Got the right seat but got the wrong Bay and was amongst a group of hardcore tattooed toothless tiger fans who had made the trip up from Melbourne.

Twilight footy SCG

The contrast could not have been greater when, upon finding the right seat, I found myself amongst the chardonnay set Sydney fans with a rugby background and was forced to suffer ill-informed shouts of "He dropped it Sir!"and "Holding the ball Sir!". I had never witnessed such respect given to an ump in my life and it was all I could do to stop vomiting over said elitist Swans' fans shoes and general clothing.

At half time I scrambled to the bar, snuck into the members and caught up with Uglybustards tipster and 2007 Champ the boot for some normal footy-speak.

As far as the game went, Richmond were awesome early especially Matty White's opening goal, but it was scary how the Swans reeled them in very quickly before powering home. Surely it's just the big 3 in contention now - Swans, Hawks and the Cats.

In other matches Jezza Cameron is just a frikkin superstar who I'm sure Big Jack would've nabbed on a form four in the early 80s ten years before he was born, it was nice to see Robbo collect Ablett, and The Pod took a pack crunching spekky. All this and more on the the round 18 highlights reel. Roll the tape and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R17 - Ablett in doubt with Leather Poisoning

As Rex Hunt used to say regularly about God; "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLETT!!!!"
Another incredible performance by one Gary Ablett jnr to down the 'pies, sew up the Brownlow, and this week he plays his 248th game this weekend drawing level with his old man's tally. At least the Blues finally face a team coming off a high instead of on the rebound. Although how that affects the little maestro in Ablett and his ridiculously talented charges O'Meara, Prestia et al remains to be seen.

In other round 17 games Richmonds Jake King took 18 of the shortest steps in the book before kicking truly against Freo, Norf's Lindsay Thomas showed the Blues he couldn't be tackled in a telephone box, and St Kilda's Jack Steven showed Port a clean pair of heels to boot a magnificent major in a riveting last quarter where Justin 'The Hoff' Westhoff got the Power over the line at the death.

All this and more on the the round 17 highlights reel. Flick the switch Aesop. Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

R16 AFL Results - Narcoleptic Norf Lose Luscious Lead in Lions Loss

Norf have done it again, the fourth time this year they've blown a 30 point lead, a team which has been called 'bipolar' as a compliment. Much the same can be said of Brisbane with another huge last quarter comeback, with Vossy now having similar victories over both Chris and Brad Scott, his old premiership team mates. The two teams find themselves with 6 wins and 9 losses, but would have to win all games from here to make finals.

The Blues had their first win in 5 weeks if you include the bye, and you have to go back to the bad old days of 2007 for a longer drought. While fans were ecstatic at rekindling their finals chances, look who they beat; 16th placed Saints with only 3 wins to their name. Norf will probably cream Carlton Friday, they did this time last year.

The Blues / Saints clash was also the battle for top place on the 'Frees Against' ladder and Carlton took top spot with a narrow 18-16 win, with St Kilda dropping to 3rd and the Lions claiming 2nd. As expected, the West Coast Ducks remain in last place.

The highlight of the weekend was Ashton Agar's near ton on debut, and the lowlight the deficiencies of Hawkeye, which clearly lost us the first Ashes test. It's such a shame Demetriou has decided to trial Hawkeye instead of listening to my advice to use sharknets as the defining goal review mechanism.

Roll the round 16 highlights reel Vasili. Check out the Bombers' freaky goals, Dane Swan on fire and Pearce Hanley for Brisbane, fast becoming the best ever Irish export in AFL. Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

R15 AFL Results - Farcical Frees as Umps Interchange Error Cannot Curtail Kennett Curse

What a weekend of footy. The Kennett Curse continues for the 11th time despite the ridiculous interchange error by the AFL steward, not to mention the outrageous 'deliberate out of bounds' call against Kelly. The Cats overcame what looked like the Kennett Curse in Reverse for a while there, proving they'll be hard to beat in September, perhaps securing yet another flag in an odd year.

In other news Norf have come storming back into finals contention, karma is served on Jobe Watson, the Giants were denied their first win, pipped by the Bulldogs in a thriller, Josh 'the stutterer' Kennedy beats the Crows off his own boot, and the Harry O / Buckley rift seems to be on a much deeper level for Harry than if your team mate is called a lesbian by his coach. Oh yeah, and Carlton got flogged again.

Frees Against Ladder

With so many controversies this season, headed up by Essendon's Performance Enhancing Drugs saga, it is clear the current ladder must be scrapped in favour of Exhibit A, the "Frees Against" ladder.  This is only fair as the top teams on this ladder are the teams that have been crucified by Razor Ray and co., and so would have been top anyway if the umps were even half-way fair.

This ladder is bound to be far more palatable to AFL fans as the Ducks are placed where they should be - stone motherless last wooden spooners!  And the top 2 teams are those most deserving in a throwback to the late 60s - the Saints and the Blues.  It is also a timely ladder as these two play for top spot this weekend in round 16, so I can only hope the umps bring their form and penalise both teams repeatedly for absurd deliberate out of bounds and interchange errors akin to what the Cats suffered against the Hawks. It should be an intriguing affair and I'm confident Carlton can claim top spot based on current form.

And here's a special treat for success starved Blues fans; Open Mike with the Dominator. May as well live in the past cos the here and now is totally  #$%^&^%$#@.   Part 1 http://bit.ly/1aiqAMg  Part 2 http://bit.ly/16kI2YZ

Roll the round 15 highlights reel Spiros.  Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL R14 - Port Pulverise Pies, Bombers Bask as Demetriou Bathes Belly

If ever a team's put its hand up for the final 8 it's gotta be Port Adelaide. But before we wax lyrical about the Power, spare a thought for Swans legend Adam Goodes, out for 6 weeks with a gammy leg, which is a coincidence as I'm out for 6 weeks with a gammy splint on me gammy hand. Here we are swapping gammy war wound stories outside surgery.

Adam Goodes & Uglybustard

Back to Port Power. Easybeats under Primus last year, now under the tutelage of one Kenneth Hinkley, overlooked for the Demons job, they are coming of age. Again, what does that say about Garry Lyon and their woefully inadequate coach selection process.

Unfortunately Port are doing my beloved Blues no favours as the teams they smash play us on the rebound the next week! However I am sure our plethora of number 1 draft pick talent will kick in.....by the time Juddy's in a zimmer frame.

Luckily for the Blues there is a final 9 this year, as the Essendon Performance Enhancing Drugs saga is bound to end with their not being allowed to play finals. Sad for Bomber fans after such a great season, but imagine the uproar if they won the flag. The AFL and Demetriou would be a global laughing stock (not such a bad thing you say?).  Meanwhile the Bombers maintain their innocence, expect to take the Premiership, players banned for 6 months over summer and be right for round one, 2014!

And what about those Demons! So impressed with their memory being able to belt the song out like that.

Roll the highlights reel Vangellis.  Noted for its shameless glorification of a team that has severely bent, if not completely broken the AFL rules.  Is the AFL painting themselves into a corner? Who is running the show while Demetriou suns his ample belly on his overseas holiday? Gillion 'snot-nosed-private schoolboy' McLachlan? Read on for round 14 highlights and the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R13 - Brisbane Burst Brad's Bubble

Joined the injury list meself this week getting me hand caught in the meat shredder. Muriel from the typing pool's done the honours. Never stopped me from playin the 62 GF so wont stop me now!!

Uglybustard v meatshredder

What a classic round of footy considering only 5 games were played. Brad Scott was handed a flag in his 1st year of coaching by a team he admitted coached themselves. On the weekend there came a time when that team needed a cluey coach to stop momentum building into an unspeakable loss. And Brad Scott was exposed. Badly. What moves did he make to stop the rot? What message did he send out via the runner? With his team continuing to play-on with seconds left, a point up and in possession, they lost the 4 points when it was theirs for the taking.  You gotta do more than sit there in "restrained fury". You gotta actually make some moves son. Makes you think what would've happened if Neeld had've had a sliding doors moment with Scott - who would be on the scrap heap and who would have a flag?

More strange was how the Lions' 8 goal last quarter was kick-started, literally, by the ump (yes, the man in green, what do they call them these days, boogie instead of maggot) getting in the way of a Stevie J miskick that rebounded off his shin into a magnificent goal assist as Brisbane took it down the corridor and slotted it from CHF.  37 Supercoach points to the ump for that little effort. Geisch still on holidays?  Too scared to return no doubt.

Kurt Tippett made a dream return that soon turned into a nightmare, booting a major in the 1st minute only for the Swans to capitulate to Port in the other upset of the round.

The Lions and Power victories make the final 8 race more interesting, and while it was a relief to not have to watch my beloved Blues get overrun for yet another "admirable" loss, they now have some new rivals for 8th spot.  Round 23 Port v Blues at Alberton could decide both teams' fate for 2013.

Roll the tape Stavros.  And check out Tyrone Vickery's mark.

AFL Results R12 - Hodgey's Head High Hits

hi there all youse tipsters and welcome to this week's special edition of Hodgey's Head High Hits. Yes that's right, it's the hit you give without really giving a hit. On Friday night "Elbows" Hodge took us and the Match Review Panel back in time to the wonderful 70s era where the biff flowed freely, and no-one was reported, or free kicks given. Even Reg Reagan may've been impressed.

How can you not highlight the umpiring this week. It was only a month or so ago when @kevinBartlett29 was rabbiting on about how body contact before a mark was illegal, with the most ridiculous of ticky touchwood frees being paid, while identical incidents were overlooked in the same game. In Dustin Martin's case, in the goal square mind you. Just a few games later and the Umps are all in danger of hospitalisation through peritonitis, having swallowed the proverbial whistle. While everyone applauds this, many blatant frees are now overlooked, until suddenly the ump decides to pay an identical one.

Then there's the bump. Jack Zeibell, James Kelly and many others including little Eddie Betts who've all done time for the bump must feel hard done by after seeing Luke Hodge get off on two counts in the same game, one incident where the recipient gets concussed and a fractured jaw.

If you look at the slow mo' Hodge has his eyes on Murphy. Lines him up and leads with his shoulder, then directs his vision to the ball. His bumping arm follows through which indicates an intentional bump. A good decent bump it was too. Fair in my book but so was Zeibell's, Kelly's, and Bett's. But Jack Zeibell wouldve got 10 weeks for Hodgey's, such in the ridiculous inconsistency of the MRP. I got no problems at all with Hodge getting off. But as Matt Thompson tries to confirm with Mark Fraser of the MRP, does that now set the standard? Good if it does. Bit late for Zeibell though.

Take a look at these clips.

AFL Results R11 - Bombers Blitz Blues from Behind

The rubber-band effect was in full swing over the long weekend where two teams in the Blues and the Saints were reeled in by the Bombers and the Ducks respectively. Some very controversial umpiring decisions especially Garlett's non-goal, but the Blues only had themselves to blame for missing too many easy shots when 5 goals up. As for the Saints, when the umps got going in the last quarter the Ducks were never going to lose. 22 - 14 free kick count for the Ducks. They've lost only 2 counts to round 11 this year and top the "ladder" for free kicks. At this time last year they'd lost just one free kick count. Not much has changed in Ducks games, whereas other matches were deemed to be well umpired in general by both winning and losing coaches.

The Gold Coast Suns are on fire and the Giants put on a bold display against the Cats, and they too will be a force - it is Demetriou's main objective to get these two teams in the finals asap, and win a Premiership. That leaves a team like Melbourne with just about no hope whatsoever.

The other talking point for the round is the ramp up of the Swans. Get your hard-earned on them now for the Flag. Two years ago when the Juddy Blues beat them in the wet at the SCG I could've sworn they were on the downhill slide to mediocre mid-tableness. Now, in two weeks time, I'm sure they'll absolutely slaughter the Blues, who are looking very mid-table indeed. Who would've picked it?

Let's roll the tape for round 11. I can't watch this week.  Too many Bomber highlights. Hit it, Aris, then on to the Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL R10 - Teriffic Tigers Tame Toofless Ducks

That's right. Ducks don't have no teef do they. But they do have long necks apparently.

That was an upset that caused no less than six (6!!!) Uglybustards to miss out on a Hungry Jacks Whopper, myself included. It seems Richmond diehard Simon Williams may have been the only tipster in Australia to have tipped the Tigers. Besides @kevinBartlett29 of course.

Every other game went pretty much as expected with the 50/50s in doggies/port and crows/dockers perhaps causing some pain for some. Not much else to say as there's been too many faux pas already this week, but we can't omit a mention of the little Master who continues to thrill them down at Geelong. Under lights for the first time as well. No doubt Gary Ablett Jnr's epitaph will be "died of leather poisoning".

Roll the tape Dimitri, and we'll discuss the Uglybustards ladders for tipping and the margin.

AFL Results R9 - Goodsey the Great

There's been enough said about last Friday night's indigenous round about a 13 year old's racist comment with the media and social platform sites going berserk. For the record Twitter went crazy with tweets getting stuck right in. I tweeted to support the kid and copped more abuse than when I shoved @CowboySainter into a dog turd in the carpark after our clash in the early 80s. The flak I copped was as bad calling the Eagles and Adam Selwood the "Ducks"!! Well, almost. You can't keep an Eagles supporter quiet for long.

But I just wanna say Goodsey summed it up magnificently in his presser. Well done Goodsey. Send him a tweet @adamroy37 

On to the footy and more upsets than a rigged UFC tournament. Or maybe its just that I had another shocker, as the jackpot went off again. The Swans are back in form, the Pies are lookin dodgy, the Suns are rising fast, and the Crows come from the frickn clouds bootin the last 5 goals to snatch the un-snatchable with 16s on the clock!! Fair Dinkum Brad Scott must be on the pain-killers to numb his senses otherwise he'd be a ravin bloody lunatic by now, what wiv Norf goin' on holiday in time-on in the last korter every friggin week! And no ducking (typo?) Selwood this time.

Let's roll the tape for round 9. Kill the lights Stavros. And kill the volume too if you can't stand Bruce McAvaney creamin himself. Then continue on for the Uglybustards Tipping comp standings this week.

AFL Results R8 - The 'Bustard is Back!

It's great to be back from the land of the goat kebab and watching the AFL live! And what the hell has been happening??? It was hard to pick up the facts but the snippets I did get were that Hirdy's on anabolic steroids to clear up a nagging pimple condition, his mighty Bombers are about to be relegated to the Magoos, and Demetriou's still refusing to put in a Tassie team to replace them.

The other thing I can't fathom is the amount of rule changes that have been made while my back's been turned, this time with marking contests, that are confusing the bejesus out of everyone, and Kevin Bartlett's been right in amongst it, onya KB, ya gotta clear this one up. All for no hands on the shoulders Warwick Capper style but the marking contest needs some clear delineation of what is allowed and what isn't.

As for the actual performance of teams Port are the big movers, or are they? The Suns have started to rise and could do anything in the next few seasons, and make the Power look more like a souflee. The Hawks are lookin' early faves for the flag - a Cats / Hawks Grand Final with the Kennett Curse in tact would be speeeeeecial and I'm here to tell ya its gonna happen. Get your hard earned on it now. Remember you heard it here first on Uglybustards!

And of course there's the Ducks, with the Selwoods leading the way. The umps cost Norf 4 points giving Adam Selwood high when he bent his knees and cannoned into Leigh Adams with his shoulder. How many times do we say the Giesch has to be sacked before the umps are told to wake up to this tactic of drawing the free. Read on to see the tape and make up your own mind:

Uglybustards Update R1 2013

Ochh aye t' noo ahm in fookn pommy lund freezing me balls to a brusss moonkey but ahm doin tit hudd yudds typin this oop on me mobble while hangin off a drain pipe to get nxt doors wifi access. It's fookn cold luddie.
Fer those who r sayin "fer fookssake whats ooogleeebustard gone n Doon wi tit fookn ludder luddie???" Ag'll hufta remindya thut ahve gone n set tit ludder tit blind rooonds wharl ahm away.
That'll be no access nxt wk when ah stutt me fookn mountain trannin with tit gotts in greece. Boot ah
jooost thot ahd droppin n say hullo b4 thut hoopins.
Ah coon uckshually see tit fookn ludder meself und ollejacyna leads tit fookn comp wi 8/9!!! Will Doon    Ollejacyna y moist b new cos ooogleeebustard tipsters dinnae tip thut wull. Dinnae wurry oother tipsters if y gut 4 this wk y Doon wull.
Hoovn a wee grind ol tahm ere n England und of corse their pommy accents ain't affoooked me a bit. Ja mean.
Or right geez ahm darn tit booza.
Go yooouse ooogleeebustards!!!!

...Dinnae f'get tit tips 4 R2    (-:

Join Uglybustards in 2013

hey all youse Ugly bustards!!!
I know its been a long hard (& wet) preseason, but the real things about to 'ckn-well start in a few wks!!
The Maltshaker has the Blues as raging unbackable flag faves just like they were this time last year, while the Swans are looking good for the spoon. They should have the GF in March Demetriou!

Anyway, time to join Uglybustards for season 2013 if you're keen.

For the first time in Uglybustards, the first 7 rounds are blind (like me most of the time) as I'll be on a high altitude training program along with some goats in the mountains of Northern Greece, and hope to bring back a few recruits with me.

Prizes for 2013 Still trying to get Broo on board for this year, stay tuned.

Usual deal for prize pool payment, email uglybustard@uglybustards.com for details.
Except this year you have an extra month, until May 31st, to pay your $20.

Go youse Uglybustaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards!!!!!